Getting Past The Absolute Mortification Of Putting Yourself Out There
And Why We Wanted to Start Tell Me About It
A little over a year ago, three girlfriends sat in a dimly lit room with a few glasses of wine—one of us feeling optimistic, one stuck, and one eager to start something new. We’d spent hours swapping ideas, brainstorming our next move, hoping to spark some creativity and inspiration. It felt like we’d hit on a brilliant idea, except for one nagging question: what on earth would people think?
For some reason, putting yourself out there is one of the most terrifying things you can do. What if people don’t like it? What if they don’t like you? What if they think it’s embarrassing that you’ve raised your hand to say, “This is me, this is what I want, this is something I’m passionate about, and I hope you might like it (or like me) too.”
Sound familiar?
Maybe you’re not sharing your innermost thoughts on the internet like we are. But that fear of putting yourself out there probably shows up in other parts of your life. Ever felt butterflies before telling someone you love them, fearing they won’t feel the same way? Or hesitated to reach out to make a new friend because you didn’t want to seem too eager? How about following up after a job interview, wondering if you’re coming on too strong?
This week marks a full year since we first put ourselves out there. Fifty-two weeks of sharing our body insecurities, our thoughts on relationships, and our family connections. It’s been a journey, and though the fear hasn’t completely disappeared, we’ve grown a little braver with each post, each story, each moment of vulnerability
To mark this milestone, we sat down to reflect on one year of Tell Me About It, what it’s been like to share our stories, and what we’d say to someone nervous about taking a plunge.
What was your biggest fear when we first started Tell Me About It?
AP: That no one would read it - haha! Other than friends and family of course. Luckily, the industry and colleagues and total strangers have shown their support, commented, liked, shared and best of all, related to the content. Nothing has warmed my heart more than messages and in person conversations of support from people who genuinely are enjoying the content we are producing and to hear that it’s struck a chord is inspiring.
SW: The three of us became friends while working in media, but I had a totally different role and hadn’t done much writing before. I was really worried about not being able to string words together or that I’d end up holding you both back by making you spend half your weekend editing my work. It could be pretty embarrassing if you’re sharing a writing project with the world if it’s badly written.
HG: And suffice to say, you’re a brilliant writer, Sarah! Putting myself out there with no security blanket to fall on is certainly not my style, so taking the plunge and starting Tell Me About It wouldn’t have happened without these two talented ladies!
Was there ever a story or post you were hesitant to publish?
SW: All of them! I probably send about 15 test drafts to myself before publishing anything. The one I was really unsure about was the piece on the ‘Sis Is This Your Man’ Facebook group. At that time, there hadn’t been any media coverage about the group, but they were (and still are) publicly calling out people for ‘snitching.’ I made sure to change all identifying details but I’m relieved that there’s been no public cybershaming as a result.
AP: Definitely. “Welcome to Fat Hell.” That story was the first time I’ve talked about my body image in a public forum like that and to send it in a newsletter to land in an inbox of our subscribers made it feel really raw and vulnerable, like I was exposing a secret for all to read. I was worried about the judgment that would come from it. I was emotional writing it, I had a good cry after pressing send. The response was incredible. There was so much support and messages from strangers, new subscribers, friends and curve models that felt the same way or related to the sentiment of the article. Someone DM'd me that they could feel my passion behind each word and that’s all I’ve ever wanted as a writer, is for someone to resonate and feel the power behind each word.
HG: There was NOTHING more terrifying than writing that first piece; the very same piece that would mark Tell Me About It’s entry into the world. For the story to work, I needed to conduct a survey amongst people our age, digging into people’s personal financials. It was a risky move, but people were kindly happy to oblige. With such important data, I felt I had no choice but to close my eyes and write the damn thing. The rest, as we say, is history.
Do you feel more or less scared about putting yourself 'out there' now?
AP: Yes and no, some topics still feel raw for me to open up about in a newsletter no less! But I’m really proud of the supportive community we’ve built in only a year. It gives me the courage to continue sharing vulnerable stories that are meaningful to not only myself but the readers. It’s super encouraging for the future of TMAI.
SW: I don’t think my fear has completely gone away. There’s a lot of comfort in doing this as a team; we’ve been able to support and encourage each other, which has really built our confidence. I do really admire those who take the plunge on their own because they have to hype themselves up in the same way we’ve tried to hype each other up.
HG: Certainly not as much! I’m so proud of myself for getting that first piece out. Being an experienced journalist, the writing was the easy bit. It was the ‘having to present a potentially failable venture’ in front of the world that I lost sleep over. Now that I’ve done that, I feel far more confident about taking other risks in life.
If someone out there dreams of putting themselves out there, what would you say to them?
SW: Effort is cool. You can keep talking or dreaming about it, or you can just give it a go. It might not turn out exactly as planned, but if you’re willing to put in the work and try, you really can’t go wrong.
HG: There is never a ‘right’ time. And really, that goes for everything in life. Give yourself grace to give it a crack, regardless of what others might think. You should always be your biggest advocate. Why not start now?
AP: What have you got to lose? A dream, a hobby, a goal, it lives inside of you to make it come to fruition. I’m a dreamer for sure, but I will always work to make those dreams come true. Hard work and determination are a must, yes. But when you have a passion for something it gives you that extra sprinkle of magic to make that dream come true and before you know it, that dream is your reality.