I’m still in Paris (sorry, this disclaimer still applies), soaking up the city's vibrant art scene. Lately, I've spent countless hours wandering through amazing galleries like the Petit Palais, Centre Pompidou, and my favourite so far, Musée de l'Orangerie. You'd think with all this art and romance around, I'd be inspired by beauty and colour. But no, mostly I’ve been thinking about dating red flags.
The Musée de l'Orangerie is a small gallery located inside the Jardin des Tuileries. It’s serene and tranquil, best known for housing Monet's Water Lilies in beautifully lit circular rooms that create an immersive experience within the artwork.
It’s truly breathtaking; I could easily spend hours circling the room, absorbing it all.
In addition to the Water Lilies, the gallery features other artworks that complement the collection, focusing mainly on artists who influenced or were influenced by Monet. There are also a few paintings by Pablo Picasso, although they may not be his most iconic works, they are Picasso's nevertheless.
During my visit, a group of dudes who looked like they were on a gap year spotted a Picasso and basically bolted from the serene Water Lilies, yelling, "Oh my god! It’s a Picasso."
At first, it was sweet to see these baby art fans in the wild. But, they hurried over to the painting and just stood there, staring at it with such intense concentration, you'd think they were deciphering the secrets of the universe.
After a few minutes of intense staring, they suddenly decided it was selfie time. They struck a pose with a dabbing motion (?), snapped the picture, and strutted off, the tallest one stating:
"I fucking love Picasso, man!"
And that right there, is where my most unhinged red flag was born.
Look, I'm definitely no art critic, and Picasso wasn't bad. He was a skilled painter whose style influenced a whole new movement. His work is incredibly famous; I bet if you stop anyone on the street and ask them to name an artist, Picasso would be the first name out of their mouth.
Don’t get me wrong, I know what it’s like to get excited by famous art you see in real life. I've probably internally exclaimed “I fucking love (insert highly impressive art reference here)” a few times over the last month for various reasons. But every time a Picasso was on display, there was a swarm of dudes snapping pictures, and I’m sorry, I just think it’s a bit of an ick.
Maybe it’s because he was a raging misogynist who once told one of his mistresses, Françoise Gilot, that ‘women are machines for suffering’ and that ‘for me there are only two kinds of women: goddesses and doormats.’
Or maybe it’s because his granddaughter Marina wrote in her memoir that he subjected his muses to his ‘animal sexuality,’ taming, bewitching, ingesting, and crushing them onto his canvas. Several of the women in Picasso’s life did not escape unscathed; of the most beloved and important to him, two committed suicide, and two were dismissed as mad.
So you’d understand why I need to ask, do you actually like Picasso’s work? Or do you like Picasso because Jay Z likes Picasso?
Imagine, purely hypothetically, you're on a first date and over the first round they drop that their favourite artist is Jeff Koons (you know, the Chrome balloon dog guy).
Ok, but why?
Is it because it’s super hype and expensive? Koons doesn’t even build his own sculptures—he's got a whole army of people doing that for him. Or, just because 'it’s a Jeff Koons: K-O-O-N-S' like Kris Jenner said to Khloe on an old episode of KUWTK—followed by 'you need to go to, like, an art class'— OR do they genuinely like it?
It's kind of the same thing.
Funnily enough, I once dated a guy with a small MOMA print of Les Demoiselles D’Avignon framed on the walls of his apartment.
The painting is recognised as one of Picasso’s seminal pieces at the start of the cubist movement and depicts five angular yet curvaceous naked prostitutes in a brothel on a street in Barcelona. Did I know then that my date was about to unload every single horror of his childhood trauma onto me before dessert? No, but I should have.
We can’t always judge creators from the past with a 2024 lens, nor can we necessarily cancel the art of people who were historically awful to women, but it’s important to consider this when exploring what we appreciate about the work.
I’m willing to try to separate the art from the artist, but it’s challenging when the cult of personality surrounding Picasso is so strong. How many rap songs have you heard that mention Cézanne or Matisse, for instance—both artists who inspired or competed with Picasso?
Sure, maybe you can appreciate the artistic merits of Picasso’s paintings on their own terms. Perhaps you can also admire a painting while knowing the artist cheated on his wife and abused his muses in the process of its construction. But I’m just saying, that if Picasso is your absolute favourite artist and you're setting up a shrine to him in your living room, well, I probably don't want to date you.
I know this is unhinged and a little elitist so I want to also make this very clear. In my eyes, it is a giant flashing green flag for someone to enjoy art in the same way that I do. My heart starts to beat a little bit faster if someone likes anything from the Renaissance to Realism, and my face lights up like the little heart eyes emoji at the mention of a love for a favourite artist or work of art*.
*As long as it’s not by fucking Picasso
**Or Michelangelo’s David - you already know why.
***Or Banksy. Sorry.
In an attempt to justify my unhinged red flags, I consulted my friends to see if they, too, had unreasonable things they consider red flags.
Here's what they came up with:
Playing acoustic guitar
André Rieu
Running for a bus
Clutching keys in their pocket while running for the bus
Writing "their," "they're," and "there" wrong
2-in-1 shampoo
Trousers tucked into socks
Backpacks
Laying on their side ( à la Burt Reynolds)
Juicy Couture
Poor cutlery technique
Peck flexing
If you genuinely like Picasso (or worse, if the person you’re dating does), I want to know why. Let’s hash it out in the comments.
Also, are there any other unhinged things we should add to the red flag list?
Cover image by Auguste Toulmouche